Whom have I but you
Whom have I but you
Though the mountains fall,
they fall into the sea
Though my colored dawn,
may fade to shades of gray
Though questions asked,
may never be resolved
I read a great article today about devotion (read full article on devotion by clicking here). As I read it, I felt my heart grow tender... when it all is said and done, that is what I want to be known for, and nowhere more importantly then heaven. I want the angels speaking of it, amazed. I want the Father to say to Jesus, concerning me "she was devoted... come what may, through trial and tribulation... through personal pain and weakness... she never looked away from your gaze". The words of the song above echo what David contemplates in Psalm 139.
O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. *(click here to read the full passage)
I love that Psalm. Whom have I? Who goes with me to the darkest places of my soul, who is with me in seasons of ease and joy? Who knows the words of my mouth before they are spoken and, more importantly, knows the responses of my heart to every situation I am faced with in life? Who knows the darkness of my heart and is unsurprised by my weakness? The mysteries of life are many, yet this is not a mystery... it is comforting and perspective giving. only you, Lord, know me. Over and over through this last season of personal pain, I've come to a focal point of knowing this one thing...at times I will not know the "why". Many people, including me, let the pain of the "why" debilitate them in their walk and trust of God. Still, He is trustworthy. Still, He is faithful. No one knows my frame, but Him. How intimate is that? He's so close. Walking through pain, there is no closer companion then He. How precious to me, He is. If pain and heartache are inherent in this life, then having Him as my everything is a must. Not because what He gives me or who He makes me. Because He knows me. He knows what I'm made out of and the deep workings of my heart... yet He is more majestic then anyone EVER... but He knows my frame. He loves me. Oh how that makes my heart leap for joy.
and just in case anyone was wondering... YES . my blog will always be about this topic. me doing my best to love Jesus.