the yes.

Gosh. I'm not good at blogging consistently. Things have been too roller coaster - ish. wow, is that even a word? hmmm. ok, anways, I make no promises of getting better at consistency but I will try. The last few months have been trying and painful, but here I am alive and closer then ever to embracing the surrender necessary to loving God. I've been reading through Genesis 24 over the last week after hearing a message entitled "Rebekah: the extravagent heart of the bride" (http://mikebickle.org/resources/resource/2976). This message was right up my alley and I encourage you to check it out. One of the most highlighted realities of my life, through the Holy Spirit, is the understanding of Phil 2:13. The verse says, " for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure". When I read that I hear Bickle's words echoing in my head... it's all about having a "YES" in your spirit to the Lord. If there's a moment, even a second of time, that I desire to seek God or to love Him wholeheartedly; it's the grace of God working in my heart to say yes to the movement of the Holy Spirit. All I'm saying is, I'm very grateful for God moving upon my heart with a yes. It's so wonderful to actually feel that yes. Even when I'm feeling so weak and hard hearted, that yes so intricately links me to the pleasure of God. He sees that yes that He put there, He sees that I agree with it and it brings Him so much pleasure. He sees my darkness and weakness, He sees my sin; but somehow, that yes... that yes in my heart moves Him. The message of Rebekah is moving. It really is the yes, the abandoned yes. She had no idea what she was getting herself into, except that it was God.

God, form in me that extravagant yes. The abandoned yes is so worth it, help me to trust fully and believe fully and open my heart to say yes to you again and again.